Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Journey to the Center of Myself

Ever since I stepped foot on this god forsaken wasteland, I've been very cautious of this planet's dwellers around me. As a child my first doubts began with my siblings as I thought that they are jealous of me. Then I turned my guns onto my parents for not fulfilling my wishes. Life moved on and I made some friends at school. As it turned out most of them where hypocrites in disguise waiting for the right moment to claim their advantage. Found the love of my life but she too betrayed and left for inconsequential reasons. When I entered my professional career, I tried my best to help my colleagues and in return hoped for their support but when I got into dire straits......unsurprisingly they too proved to be no different.

I sat down and cursed this planet's dwellers with savage rage inside me. I always knew humans couldn't be trusted but I wasn't expecting such level of duplicity. All of a sudden this rage.....this feeling of powerlessness..... started to consume me. Even I couldn't escape this hell on earth. Suddenly I stood up and started racing back and forth in my room due to restlessness. I wanted to strike back and take revenge on people who did this to me. A diabolical plan struck me. A scheme to root out my enemies. A plan to avenge my destruction. Evil was about to completely consume me and just as i was about to execute my evil intentions, out of no where I was standing face to face with one last enemy I missed all along........myself. Last thing I remembered was racing back and forth in my room and now i was standing in front of the mirror and saw a man......tangled in strings. And guess who controlled those strings?......i did!!! It was me.....it has always been me......I was my own worst enemy. I created an illusion and called it reality. In fact I am my only enemy. I attacked myself with irrational emotions, illogical reasoning and uncontrollable impulses. It has always been my fault and I blamed everyone else for my own mistakes. I tried controlling other people of which I have no control over and never controlled myself of which i have total control.

I always imagined great power and truth inside my core but it turns out I've been feeding the devil inside me. Hypocrisy, lies and deception were not out there, they've been mostly inside me. But instead of lowering the force of my rage, i put the pedal to the metal and raised my guns again but only this time.....i turned them on myself! I need to conquer the evil inside me. Some may call it a war between good and evil. Others may think it's a war between conscience and sub-conscience. For me it's all about redemption!  

Got no more hate, pride and shame which makes me dangerous

This post is entirely fictional.

Monday, 22 June 2015

The Final Assault

Its been more than half a decade since our rivalry initiated. Sadly on all occasions my nemesis has gotten the best of me. I fought with resilience and put in significant amount of effort but to no avail. Perhaps there are some things that cannot be defeated. Although I'm not quite fond of this statement but I guess i'll have to believe it just this once......sigh.....perhaps its time to move on with my other endeavors in life.......but not before I gather all my strengths for one final assault!